Community News


We will never forget.
09/11/01

God Bless America

Other Ways to use the Thanksgiving Turkey

  • As a disguise so your ugly Aunt Beatrice can't kiss you and say, "How much you've grown!"
  • As a hood ornament.
  • As a football for the after-meal game.
  • One word... bowling!
  • As yet another object to drop from the top of the dorm to test the range of the splatter upon impact.
  • As a Christmas gift (avoid the holiday crowds this way!)
  • As a doorstop to keep your relatives out.
  • As a blunt object to fend off your pesky cousins.
  • As a projectile to throw at the TV after Kathie Lee says, "Aren't they a wonderful band!" for the 25th time.

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    A few Random Thoughts
    Top10 things that sound dirty at Thanksgiving
    10. "Just reach in and grab the giblets."
    9. "Whew...that's one terrific spread!"
    8. "I am in the mood for a little dark meat!"
    7. "Tying the legs together will keep the inside moist."
    6. "Talk about a HUGE breast!"
    5. "And he forces his way into the end zone!"
    4. "She's 5000 pounds fully inflated and it takes 15 men to hold her down."
    3. "It's cool whip time!"
    2. "If I don't unbutton my pants, I am going to burst!"
    1. "It must be broken 'cause when I push on the tip, nothing squirts out."

    I live in my own little world... but it's ok, they know me here. :-)


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