My Newbie
Two Cents Worth

By

Bailey

Bisexual Pornsites

My youngest is 13 years old, and he pals around with a group of about 6 boys. At a recent community outing several of the boys’ parents and I happened to be together, and as we chatted several other parents joined us. One of moms that had just joined us (I had only met this woman once before) got our attention immediately with “Did you all know that...” I couldn’t imagine what she was going to say, but her tone changed as she started her story. “I wanted to let you know the boys have been accessing porn on the computer” I felt like I was punched in the stomach. I don’t know what order my thoughts came in but I remember what they were. “Please don’t let it be one of my sites, Please don’t let it have been at my house. Please don’t let it have been my son.” I heard her continuing “people that put this stuff on the computer should be put in jail!!” She went on to explained they accessed a toon site while searching for games and with a few more ugly comments she finished by saying that her son is no longer allowed at so and so’s house because the parents didn’t supervise enough and allowed them to access porn. As I regained my composure I heard myself saying “Now wait a minute...” and all eyes were on me. GULP!

I was very aware that I was broaching a delicate topic. We have a few different topics here.” I remember saying.

As parents I think we all agree that we don’t want our kids accessing porn, just like we don’t want them smoking, having sex , drinking etc., it’s my opinion that all of the things we don’t want our kids to do, one: have been around for awhile and were concerns our parents had, and their parents had and so on. And two: are here to stay. Unless you plan on keeping them away from radio, TV, the computer, their friends and the book store they are seeing, hearing, reading about sexual behaviors everyday. I personally use the opportunities to talk with my boys about all of those things.“ I admitted that I do not sit behind my teenagers when they are on the computer, (I wondered aloud how many parents actually do?) but I explained that I have appropriate filters and blocks on the computer, and I have reports sent to me showing me where they’ve been. But filtering means allowing some info to come through and you can only block so much. The report is great but I get it after the fact. As far as I know they have not accessed adult material, however, it doesn’t mean they haven’t tried. Where there’s a will, there’s a way, and kids are computer savvy, they can, and do, find their way around filters. That having been said let’s give these parents the benefit of the doubt, maybe it was just a one time incident.” Well, apparently she interpreted that a, I allow my boys to access porn, and she continued her rant about the evils of porn and people that promote it.

As I looked around the group, I sensed more of the parents felt the way I did, but there were two parents that took a hard line and agreed with her, one of them was my son‘s friends mom. They complained they shouldn’t have to be “put out” by placing blocks, filters etc, in their own home and echoed “porn is disgusting, why do people look at it, people who promote it are perverts and so on”

I should have let it go, but I couldn’t... I told them I respected their opinion about porn and they should respect other adults who have no objection to viewing adult material.

“Why” people view porn is a personal decision and people do it for different reasons. As for the “inconvenience”, it is your responsibility as a parent to take 5 minutes of your time and set appropriate limits for your kids by using the tools available to us.

Furthermore, As a business owner of a company that designs web sites, which includes clients that sell adult material(OK I didn‘t tell the whole truth), I’m offended that you would call me a pervert. And I don‘t have any “problems“ just because I view adult material. With the continuing growth of the adult industry, it seems more and more people are comfortable viewing adult sites, and owning an adult site is a legal and legitimate business. People invest time, money and pay taxes on their adult business. They are selling what people want. Supply and demand. I continued and explained from a business standpoint, site owners don’t want kids on their sites, first and foremost because they don’t belong there and it costs money for them to be there. There are many adults who enjoy viewing adult material and have every right to do so, this is the group adult site owners want. They’re legally able to be there, and they are willing and able to spend money.” And, business owners in the adult field do more to protect minors from accessing adult sites and report and help prosecute promoters of kiddie porn.” I also explained that adult sites are designed so that they would be caught by the most basic filters, and include very clear warnings that the site contains adult material. For the most part, you would see more sexually active behavior on a music video than on one of the sites I built but I do more to keep kids away from it. I conceded that not every adult site owner has that philosophy, but you can be assured that the majority of adult business owners do not want kids on their sites.

I probably gave them too much information. This woman had a few more nasty things to say, and told me her son would not be allowed at my house. I shot back and challenged her to come to my house and try to access adult material on the computer as long I could have the opportunity to do the same on hers. Of course she refused,(I beleive it’s because she hasn’t set any limits) she says it’s because it wouldn’t prove anything and after all what kind of parent could I be to be in that type of business.” She excused herself and left the group and the two other parents joined her.

I was relieved that the remaining parents didn’t think I was some sort of pervert and agreed that kids accessing porn was one more challenge parents faced raising teenagers, and not the root of all evil that Mrs. Bigmouth wanted us to believe. I shouldn’t have let her get under my skin, but she did. I’m glad I had the support of the parents and I expressed my concern about her comments. One of the parents assured me that Mrs. Bigmouth came off as a jack-ass and troublemaker, and she will probably be viewed that way by others too. He made me feel good when he continued to say “You were professional and educated us me about parental controls.” The others agreed and I thanked them again for their support. We all had a good laugh though, one of the moms asked if I would build her a private site with guys only, but could I show her how to set the parental controls first.

I’m still thinking about this incident even though it happened several days ago. I’m not worried about it, but it left me a little unsettled.

Well that’s just my newbie two cents...
Have a great week!

Bailey