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Newbies, Don't Take Things to Heart!

By

RedDevil

Red Devil's Sexxx Land

It is very easy to take criticism too much to heart. Someone may tell you something that will make you think that you are not welcome to ask a question, or that they don't want to help you, or want you to even succeed.

I can tell you from experience that is far from the truth. They want you to succeed and want you to post and ask questions, but they also want you to learn. If you ask the same question over and over again, then they have to say sometimes, "go look, do some research." Look for the answer before you just post to ask the question. They really want you to use all your resources and to really think and learn. They want you to go look at the Quick Start Guide and the Newbie Tutorials for Newbies. That is what they are there for. They also want you to think and learn what you are asking. If you just keep asking without doing the research, you are not going to learn.

I know this for a fact because this same approach was taken with me when I asked the same question over and over again. Finally Lady B gave me some tough love and actually just came out and told me. I really needed to go read the Quick Start Guide and the Tutorial because I have asked that same question several times before and I needed to start reading and learning, not just trying to have it handed to me. They are not there to just hand it to me, but to teach me and help me learn.

When I read that post from Lady B for a while I just felt like she didn't want to help me anymore and that I was not welcome to post or ask a question on the board. I actually almost quit the business altogether, but later that night I talked to EclectiXXX and Ghost Of Winter. They both told me the same thing, that I was just taking things too personally and that was not what she was meaning. I argued with them for a while and then I finished my first site for submitting and got it up on my server with the help of EclectiXXX, Ghost of Winter, and my research and reading of those tools that I was told to read by Lady B.

Then EclectiXXX and Ghost of Winter told me that I really needed to post and ask them to review my site and let them know that I was still around. I argued with them for a while but I finally did post and said hi to everyone and asked them to please review my site and to let them know that I had not quit.

When I posted I was really afraid that they would not review my site or that they would just really be overly mean about my site. But to my surprise, Lady B and everyone said they were glad to see that I had not quit and they reviewed my site and showed me how to do a few things differently with my site.

With all of that, I learned that they were not trying to make it so I wouldn't succeed or that I was not welcome to post anymore, but quite to the contrary. They really wanted me to succeed!... and to post... and to learn more and more! They wanted to see me succeed and progress not just sitting there treading water and have everything handed to me.

RedDevil

Editor's note: Red Devil is exactly right! Newbies need to post their sites, get feedback, and please, never ever feel like we are picking on you for your questions. You learn more by trying to find the answers yourselves, reading through the guides and posts. You will be surprised at how much more you learn that way. DO ask questions, and don't feel personally picked on by the replies. We've all been through that, even I have felt that way at times... but it works! We are here to help you succeed. We want you to grow.